Free Admission Friday: Personal Challenge, Day 19 (10.5.12)

October 5, 2012 at 10:17 PM (Exploration, Life, Personal Challenge, Photography, Southern California, Spirituality, Tourism, Travel)
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

On the first Friday of the month, the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena offers free admission during the hours of 6-9 pm.  I haven’t been to the Norton Simon since I took a museum class at USC in 1998.  This was my first experience with the free Friday admission.  Even though this wasn’t my first trip to the museum, it has been so long that it felt like my first trip.  I do remember the Monet gardens and a few of the art pieces (by Renoir, Manet and Degas)but I don’t remember the theater or downstairs area for new exhibits.

So I started the exhibit with my grandfather’s rule for exploring new places–stick to the right.  And to my right resides the Asian Art exhibit.  This was Buddha heaven.  I walked through looking at every piece and reading the story of each.  I made my way downstairs to the main portion of the Asian Art Exhibit.  There was also a new exhibit on Still Life (no photographs allowed in this area).  But I was more interested in the Asian Art and all the Hindu and Buddhist artifacts on display.  I could go back to this exhibit over and over again.  Like I said before, it is Buddha heaven.

Afterwards, I went upstairs and stopped off at the Garden Cafe.  I ordered the Veggie Panini (I was sold when I saw it had Butternut Squash in it).  It was a pricey meal but very tasty.

While sitting in the Garden, enjoying my meal, I had the opportunity to people watch.  I’m not sure if it was because of “Free Friday” but I was in shock by the behavior of some of the patrons.  I saw a woman in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt sitting at a table while her young kids ran around the gardens, climbing on the statues and throwing things at the ducks in the pond.  I was actually surprised by how many toddlers were at the museum.  I can understand taking elementary aged children to a museum for an appreciation of art and culture, but infants and toddlers?  If I were a parent, I would not want to take my toddler to a museum filled with priceless artifacts.  And why wasn’t anyone saying anything when these children were climbing on the statues?  I got a phone call from my California sister and was asked to go outside yet some of these children were running, screaming through the museum.  I guess I will have to go back on another day to see if this is just something that happens on “Free Fridays.”

When I finished my meal and people watching session, I returned to the museum and headed off into the art collection areas where works by the old masters reside.  You can see works by Van Gogh, Manet, Renoir, Degas and Picasso.

It is said that art is subjective and the meanings are up for interpretation by the observer.  Well, if the observer is anything like me, you see the “dirty” interpretation of the art work.  I was surprised, at times, to read on the plaque besides the pieces that I was often right.

Another thing that I like to do when walking through looking at art, I like to come up with my own captions.  I’m sure if someone were observing me, seeing me giggle to myself, they would think I was crazy.  I heard people talking about the brush strokes, the lighting, the techniques, etc while I was thinking, “It looks like the angel wants to suckle her breast.”  I am an art teacher and I should be talking about the techniques, lighting, brush strokes, texture, composition, etc.  But I was here alone, on a Friday night.  I wasn’t in teacher mode.  I was being myself–my goofy, dirty-minded self and I was having fun.  And I didn’t say what I was thinking out loud.  I would stand in front of the paintings, think of a funny caption in my mind, smile and move onto the next.  On the outside, I played the part of a thoughtful art observer while in my mind, I was a 12-year-old mentally giggling at all the dirty, provocative art.

Overall, I would go back to the Norton Simon Museum.  The Asian Art exhibit alone might even convince me to get a membership.  But I think I do need to return during regular hours to see how the patrons differ to those who arrive on the Free Fridays.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

About these ads

Leave a Comment

Time To Find Your Path

June 3, 2012 at 9:36 PM (Astrology, Life, Spirituality, Universe)
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tomorrow’s Full Moon is the Pathfinding Horse Moon.  With the moon in Sagittarius, it is a time to choose a new path or direction to take in our life’s journey.

How do we do this?  Well, you look at where you are and where you really want to be then you have to decide how to get there.  Simple, right?  I’m a Libra so I would have to say this is pure torture.  Trying to make a decision on which path I should take is an extremely difficult task for a Libra.  I will use my trusty Pros and Cons lists.  I will think of all the different possible outcomes for each decision.  I will ask my friends and family for advice.  I will go see a psychic or ask my own Goddess or Angel cards.  Then I will pray for a sign from the Universe, guiding me toward the right path.  Then I will finally make a decision.  But once I make that decision, I will constantly wonder if I made the right choice.  But once again, I am a Libra.

Ironically, I am in a weird place where I do feel like I have to make a lot of life choices about my future.  So today, I turned to someone I know and trust, Hot Dog.  I had just told him about my accident a few days ago so he was anxious to see me and get me whatever I needed.  He picked up dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant and arrived at my house, ready to take care of my needs.  What I really needed was someone to talk to and he was ready to listen.  We went for a walk in my neighborhood (mainly to walk off the carnitas) and talked about what was bothering me.  Like any close, good guy friend would do, he poked fun at some of the decisions I made and actions I took.  But mostly he was in agreement with me that I needed to change things in my life.

I know where I want to be I just have no clue how to get there.  I need to let go of the past once and for all.  My past is holding me back.  So I guess whatever direction I wind up choosing, I need to make sure that it is in the opposite direction of my past with the future I want directly in front of me.

Now, if you are like me and you have a hard time making decisions, Kristen Madden from Llewellyn’s Witches’ Datebook suggests:

“To explore your path and any new directions you might take, you will need a pendulum (a ring on a string will do), and your life-adventure map.  Create your map by drawing a large circle on a piece of paper.  divide the circle into a pie graph, with one section representing your current path.  Into the other sections, place your potential paths, hopes and dreams.  Take your pendulum and ask what paths are most aligned to financial, academic, spiritual, or emotional success, then let the pendulum help find your direction.”

Now if the pendulums, tarot cards and psychic guidance methods freak you out, you can always ask the Magic 8 ball.  I have a fortune telling Yoda doll that I often ask for guidance (yeah, I’m a Star Wars geek) when my Magic 8 ball seems to be having issues (when it tells you “Future Unclear.  Ask Again Later.”)

Good Luck!

Leave a Comment

Eaton Canyon Baptism

April 1, 2012 at 10:49 PM (Family, Life, Spirituality, Universe)
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Yesterday, my mom arrived in Cali for a week visit.  We decided that since the weather was so nice today, we would go for a hike.  This was my mom’s first “mountain” hike.  So we paired up with my California sister and her mom and headed off to Eaton Canyon.  We decided to do the hike up to the waterfall (along with tons of other people).  Since it rained yesterday, the water levels were up, making for an interesting trek.

It started off fairly easy but on our second pass over the stream, my mom lost her footing on one of the rocks we were using as a bridge and she fell into the ankle-deep water.  I tried to catch her but wound up landing right beside her in the water.  My California sister started laughing at us and said “you have now been baptised by the Eaton Canyon waters.”  Little did we know how this simple comical moment would turn into a cosmic (or karmic) joke.

As we continued to hike up the canyon, my mom told stories of my childhood and all of my many quirks–one being how much trouble I would get into with the nuns who ran my catechism classes.  We talked and talked as my California sister and her Mom still used the rock bridges to forge the stream–while my mother and I opted to just walk through the water (our feet and pants were soaked already).  I continuously made jokes about how the waters “cleansed my soul”–if only I knew what was coming.

So we made our way up to the waterfall, took pictures and started our trek back.  At some point, I wound up being the leader of our little hiking group.  We came to a point where there was a rather large traffic jam of people trying to get across the stream.  I just made my way through the water with my mom close behind.  I was looking down into the stream, trying to avoid some of the deeper pockets of water so I wasn’t aware of what I was about to bump into once I reached the other side of the stream.  I was just about to step onto the shore when I looked up and immediately froze, causing my mom to bump into my back.  Right in front of me, standing upon a rock above, I gazed upon two Nuns.  Hiking nuns dressed in full habit garb, carrying a walking stick in one hand and a rosary in another.  I am sure that my face turned sheet white.

This is my life!  I can’t even make this kind of stuff up.  My heart started pounding and I immediately averted my eyes from the women I often referred to as “Sister Mary Holy Water.”  I suddenly turned into the young girl who would always get disapproving looks from the nuns for asking too many questions.  I ran up the shore and up the trail as fast as I could.  I could hear my mom and California sister laughing somewhere behind me.  I just started booking it as fast as I could.  But in my haste, with my eyes on the ground, I managed to miss four more nuns headed in my direction.  Four nuns that I literally ran right into, causing my California sister to burst out in a fit of laughter.  I had no escape this time.  I just stood there, frozen, with my back against the mountain.  I only remember seeing a flash of black and white followed by a parade of wooden rosaries.  I had an instant flashback to my days of sitting in a corner saying a bunch of “Hail Mary” and “Our Father” prayers as I made my way around my own communion rosary.  I stood there as my California sister walked past me, still laughing, saying “this never happens to anyone else but you.”

Her mother agreed.  They have been hiking Eaton Canyon all their lives and never have they seen hiking nuns.  And not just any hiking nuns, hiking nuns in full habit and dress.  This was my first time hiking up to the waterfall, I was joking about being baptised and then I run into six nuns.  Seriously?

It’s like the time I was joking about the Mormons when driving into Salt Lake City and then my truck broke down in the middle of the Salt Flats, leaving me stranded for five hours.  I had no choice but to return to Salt Lake City and actually stay there, delaying my trip to Reno by a day.  You think I would have learned my lesson back then.

The Universe has this way of playing Cosmic jokes on me.  Someone up there was having a mighty good laugh at me today.  Nice April Fool’s Day prank on me, Universe.  I know my California sister enjoyed it immensely.

Leave a Comment

Show Compassion for All

February 22, 2012 at 10:03 PM (Life, Relationships, Spirituality, TV)
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

In response to last night’s GLEE episode, I feel that as a high school teacher I need to say something.  At first, I was shocked at where the storyline was going and then I was feeling a sense of Deja Vu when the “Adults” (why aren’t there more teachers in their high school?) were talking about how to react around the students and how nervous everyone is about “copycat” syndrome that often occurs after a student attempts suicide.  I sat through a very similar session just two weeks ago when a student killed himself at the high school where my best friend teaches.  Everyone in our school district is still dealing with what happened.  A young sophomore was picked on, pushed around and teased to the point where he felt the need to take his own life.  I personally never knew the boy but many of my students and friends did.  But what I do know is that he wasn’t even at the point where he could really live his life when he decided to end it.  No one should be made to feel like death is the only solution.

Bullying is a serious problem.  I have heard people from my generation talk about how they don’t remember Bullying being such an issue when we were in school.  The thing is that back then, we didn’t have the Internet.  If something happened, you didn’t usually hear about it.  Now, your cousins in Canada will know if someone at your school is gay or short or fat or a nerd or whatever, all thanks to the Information Hellway we call the Internet.  We didn’t have Facebook, Formspring, Tumblr, Twitter and the like.  We didn’t have cellphones that could text or go on the Internet instantly.  Rumors spread like wildfire these days and it is terrifying.  And the majority of the rumors are not even true.  It is the high-speed version of the Telephone game.  Information travels at light speed.  I knew about the student’s suicide before my friend, a teacher at that school, knew what was going on.  I had kids in my classroom crying 10 minutes after it happened.

And yes, as teachers we make the students put away their cellphones and stay off the social networks while they are in school but they are smarter than we are when it comes to high-tech sneakiness.  We used to try to figure out how to sneak out of our houses at night.  These kids know how to take notes and text without a teacher having any idea.  So if someone in class farts, the whole school knows about it within a matter of minutes.  We can try all we want but as a society everyone is addicted to their “Smartphones” and the kids today don’t know a world without them.  It is a battle we will never win.

I do love how realistically GLEE portrayed the instantaneous rumor spreading.  He came home and checked his Facebook to see what they were saying.  (Though if it were at my school, he would have checked his iPhone when he left the locker room).  It is sad but true.  The majority of kids see their friends teasing someone so they join in to be a part of the crowd.  So before you know it, hundreds, maybe even thousands of kids are participating in cyberbullying.  Many may not even know the person they are attacking.  So how do we make it stop?

As a teacher, I try to be someone the kids feel they can come to if they are having a problem.  Last year, I had a student come out of the closet to me and tell me about how they were being teased.  They were suicidal.  I followed procedure and instantly got them help.  I went to my administrator, the counselor and the school psychologist.  We all rallied around them to let them know that we all cared.  I found out about the Trevor Project.  They have experts that students can talk to and give the appropriate support.  We made sure that they knew they didn’t have to suffer in silence.  There are people out there that care and would be there for support.  There are people out there who would never judge them.

These kids need to know that life gets so much better after high school.  High School is full of drama and stress.  Everyone is in everyone else’s business.  They need to start thinking past themselves.  They have to learn what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes.  I always tell them, “treat others the way you would want to be treated.”  It’s sad that I have to remind them “how would you feel if someone was saying that to you” “or how would you feel if someone posted that about you.”

Teenagers are not zombies.  It is possible to get them away from the computers and away from their cellphones.  It is possible to get them to talk and to open up.  It is possible to teach them to have compassion for all.  But we, as adults, have to set an example.

We need to stop going after the gays in “the name of God.”  I don’t know what Bible they read but I remember Jesus saying he was dying for all our sins–not just the straight people.  Jesus said to love everyone and forgive everyone–right?  If Jesus, or God, was telling me to hate someone for any reason, then that isn’t someone I want to believe in.  We are all human beings and we should show compassion and respect to all other human beings.

I watched this great documentary by His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, entitled Compassion in Emptiness.  It is on NetFlix streaming and I recommend it to everyone.  In this film, His Holiness is giving a talk about Compassion.  He says that we need to stop looking at things from a complicated level.  We need to go back to basics where we are all just human beings.  When we start talking about race, religion, and sexual orientation, we are looking at the secondary level where things are too complicated.  Complications lead to strife.  So in order for us to achieve peace and happiness, we need to stick to the basic level of understanding, “we are all human beings.”  We need to show compassion to all human beings, even if we disagree with their life choices.

And we need to stop making politicians speak for us.  All politicians lie.  Trust me, I was in Public Relations.  They all have an agenda.  All they care about is winning and getting your vote.  They will say whatever you want to hear.  You can’t trust them.  Power is corrupt, ergo those with power are corrupt.  So why do we let them do what they do?  We seem to forget that they are supposed to be working for us.  And what kind of example are they setting for our youth with their campaign ads that are designed to “destroy” their competition.  The kids are taught at an early age to look up to our Senators, Governors, and Commander In Chief.  But when you turn on the TV, you see them bullying each other in ads and in debates.  What are we teaching our children?

There are many in this world who view the United States as a Bully.  If you are one of those people, I apologize.  I am an American but I am not a Bully.  I am a human being.  I am a teacher who goes to work every day because I know I have the chance to make a difference in the lives of my students.  I teach photography but my kids often say my class is “the real world” class.  I try to go above and beyond the simple practices of how to work a camera.  I don’t do it for the money–believe me, there is no money in teaching (which is why I have two other jobs on the side).  I do it for the kid who came to me for help instead of committing suicide.  It is about helping your fellow human being.

I once heard a woman give a speech about how we have two purposes in life.  One is to be a Student, learning all of life’s lessons.  The Second is to be a Teacher, teaching what we have learned.  I took it literally.

My story and the GLEE story had a happy ending–the kids survived.  But unfortunately it doesn’t always turn out that way.  It is sad that it often takes the loss of a young life to bring society to an awakening.  We need to open our eyes and see what is going on around us, see what our kids are seeing.  Start that conversation.  Stop saying “oh, it is just teenage angst.”  If you see a kid in pain, give them a hug.  Ask them what is wrong and LISTEN.  You have to become aware of the truth in order to make a difference.

4 Comments

The Lion Moon

February 7, 2012 at 10:57 PM (Astrology, Life, Photography, Relationships, Spirituality, Universe)
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Lion Moon poking through the clouds in the Altadena, CA night sky.

Tonight, February 7, 2012, the Full Moon is in Leo.  If you look it up on the internet, you can find all kinds of different meanings for the “Lion Moon.”

To the Native Americans, the February Full Moon, no matter which constellation it appears to inhabit, is considered to be the “Snow Moon.”  They believe that the heaviest snow fall occurs in February.  Based on my childhood in Michigan, I would have to agree.  I remember having blizzards occur practically every year during our “winter break” in February.  Ironically, here in California, we had a rain storm, our version of winter weather.

According to shirleymaclaine.com, “The Full Moon in Leo, also the Moon opposite the Sun at 4:54 PM, often called the Snow Moon, is about self versus others in the scheme of your life and what you want the most. Strong challenge can be brought to a head with the core reasoning being what you want in relation to another’s desires. This ray can cause you to want to jump ship and run off to an island of fun and frolic rather than having to stay anywhere there is rigidity or confinement.”

This would go with what others say, that the Lion Moon is a time when your rational thinking tends to contradict your gut instincts.  They will battle it out and the stronger of the two will prevail.  The stronger one will most likely turn out to be a decision where you break free from your past or current path and start a new one.  You will be encouraged to take steps toward this new path to renew and excite your spirit.  You are ready to let go and move on.

Some say this is a time for love and creativity.  The Sun is in Aquarius and reflecting onto the Moon in Leo, creating loving feelings to stimulate the heart and mind.  It is a time of altruistic love, to help others and then you in return will receive love.  It is a time to celebrate and  party.  If you are in a relationship, this is the time to have fun and enjoy each other’s company.  If your relationship is strained, now is the time to rekindle the old flame.  And if you are single, like me, then this is the time to set your intention to finding your Mr. or Mrs. Right.

If you are a Buddhist, the February Full Moon has numerous causes for Celebration.  ”Magha Puja (February full moon Day) is the festival that commemorates the occasion when 1250 enlightened personal disciples of the Buddha came spontaneously to the Bamboo grove on the full moon of Magha (our February).  The Buddha predicted his death and recited a summary of his teachings and a code of discipline which all monks are expected to recite every fortnight.  The day is observed with meditation, chanting and listening to sermons.”

It is also “Parinirvana (February full moon Day), a festival where people remember the death of Buddha. When he was 81 years old, the Buddha knew that the time had come for him to die. He lay down and died peacefully.  In the temples the lights are lowered. People chant and meditate in the dimmed light. The lights are made bright again. The lights are a symbol. They show that the light of Buddha’s teachings continues to shine in the world.”

And in Tibet, it is Losar (February Full Moon Day), celebrating the Tibetan New Year.  The celebration begins at the full moon in February and lasts for 15 days.

But tonight, when you look up at the night sky, just know that no matter what you believe, we are all one, united by the illumination of the same Full Moon.

Happy New Year, Tibet!

Leave a Comment

Happy Friday The 13th!

January 13, 2012 at 9:15 PM (Life, Spirituality, Universe)
Tags: , , , ,

Happy Friday the 13th!  I have never understood why this day freaks people out.  So I thought I would check it out on the Internet.  Ironically, this year, we will have 3 Friday the 13ths . . . exactly 13 weeks apart . . .in a Leap Year . . . in the year 2012.  The doomsday people must be having a field day.

Personally, for me (a woman whose favorite holiday is Halloween), I love Friday the 13th.  My friends and I used to go out to haunted places on a Friday the 13th.  But for me, I love Fridays–end of the week.  And 13 is a lucky number for me.  Actually, all of my lucky numbers are odd–but I’m not “normal.”

So when I set out to find out the origins of Friday the 13th, I was none too surprised to find out that no one really knows but they think the origins of this “unlucky” day are tied to Christian beliefs.  Big surprise there.

First off, except for Good Friday, Christians saw Friday as a day of “misfortune”–the 6th day of the week.  Eve offered Adam the apple in the garden of Eden on a Friday.  The Crucifixion, the Great Flood, and the confusion at the Tower of Babel also happened on a Friday.  In literature, we can find references to Friday being a day of “mischance” going all the way back to Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales written in the 14th century.  By the 17th century, the idea of Friday being the “unluckiest day” was weaving its way throughout the majority of Western Literature.  So then it became a common superstition that you should never undertake any kind of venture or endeavor on a Friday.  Some even go as far in thought as avoiding ordinary tasks like writing letters, conducting business or seeking medical treatment on a friday because it is bad luck.  In my world, we Thank God It’s Friday and we have a countdown to this glorious day.

Now as for the number 13 (my luckiest number), once again, the origins of the superstition are obscure but many sources link it once again to Christianity and the meal of all meals . . . The Last Supper.  It is said that Judas was the thirteenth guest to sit at the table for The Last Supper, right before he betrayed Jesus which lead to the Crucifixion and then his suicide.  And because of Judas, they say you should never have more than 12 guests at a table.  If thirteen people sit down for a meal together, within a year, one will die.  I wonder if anyone ever experimented with this idea?

So again, why thirteen?  In Numerology, twelve is a holy number, the number of completeness–the twelve Apostles, the twelve months in a year, twelve hours of the clock, twelve gods at Olympus, twelve tribes of Israel, the twelve descendants of Muhammad and my personal favorite, the twelve years of school.  So since twelve is complete and perfect, then thirteen was considered irregular, odd and a transgression from completeness.  So because it is irregular and incomplete, it must be eliminated, right?  Only a dozen, no more.  That last donut can’t fit in the box, it must be separated from the rest, the odd man out.

So now I understand why I love Friday the 13th so much.  The world is telling you not to do anything on a Friday because something bad will happen–I like that excuse.  And thirteen is an irregular, odd number.  I like it.  It is very Avant-Garde in my humble opinion.  We shouldn’t fear this day, we should embrace it and enjoy it for being unique.  So Happy Friday the 13th!  Get your Superstition On!

Leave a Comment

My Bucket List

July 1, 2011 at 1:56 PM (Life)
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Over the last few months, my family has lost several of its members. With so many passings, it makes you take a good hard look at your own life. You start to face your own mortality and think about what you have done and all the things that you still hope to do. So I thought I would start to make my own “Bucket List” of the things I hope to do before I kick the proverbial bucket.

 MY BUCKET LIST

1. Learn to speak fluent Italian (not just the cuss words and curses)

2. Go to Italy to meet my family

3. Go to England

4. Go to Transylvania

5. Go to Tibet

6. Meet the Dalai Lama (My Yoda)

7. Ride an Elephant in Africa (or India)

8. Visit my friend Neroli in New Zealand

9. Travel through Australia

10. Go to Prince Edward Island to see the real Green Gables

11. Read all of the true “Classic” novels

12. Write a book

13. Get a book published

14. Visit a Buddhist Monastery

15. Meet Shirley Maclaine (or at the very least, read all of her books)

16. Meet Johnny Depp

17. Have the Father-Daughter dance with my Dad (I will marry myself if I have to)

18. Fall in love with someone who will actually love me back

19. Adopt a Starvin’ Marvin (or any kid who just needs a good home)

20. Travel to all 50 States (Almost done with this one)

21. Find a job where I can actually have a life

22. Find a man who will actually stick around

23. Own a home (house or Condo)

24. Help find a cure for Endometriosis (by being a research study subject or an advocate)

25. Make a difference in the lives of others

26. Pay off all my debt

27. Backpack through Europe

28. See a play on Broadway

29. Go to Egypt (when it is safe)

30. Go on a Spritual quest of Epic proportions and write a book about it (“Just Eat, forget the praying and loving”)

31. Act in a movie, TV show or Play again

32. Travel to all the National Parks in the US

33. Make a Documentary or Movie with my friends

34. Explore more ghost towns

35. Go ghost hunting with Ghost Hunters

OK, this is harder than I thought. I guess I will just have to keep adding to this over time. But this is a good start.

**First posted 06/28/11

Leave a Comment

A Quest For Knowledge: Part One: The Beginning

March 1, 2011 at 9:44 PM (Endometriosis, Life, Relationships, Spirituality, Writing)
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

>

As a child, I remember hearing the story of Adam and Eve in Cathecism.  They were punished for eating from the tree of Knowledge in the garden of Eden.  It was very scary, especially the way the Nuns told it.  I had so many questions that I wanted to ask about this tale.  A few questions I attempted to ask and I was always told that it wasn’t my place to question the teachings of the Bible.  I was not to request any additional knowledge beyond what was presented to me. 

As an adult, I know that the stories of the Bible are parables and are not meant to be taken literally.  Even though the Nuns were scary, they were not using the story of Adam and Eve to stop me from asking questions–were they?  I mean, we want our children to have a thirst for knowledge, a desire to learn–isn’t that why we send them to school for 13 years? (more if they seek higher education).  We want them to ask questions, right?

I often got in trouble for asking so many questions in Cathecism.  My young mind was so filled with questions.  My mind is still filled with questions.  Except now, I have the power to look beyond what others want me to learn and look for answers in any manner of my choosing.

Generally, I quench my thirst for knowledge through books and documentaries.  Anyone who knows me, or has helped me move, knows how important my books are to me.  My books range from “Anne of Green Gables” to “Shakespeare’s Complete Works” to “The Ultimate Adult Joke Book.”  I have very ecclectic taste.  I have moved all over the country and my books have been my one constant–I never leave home without them.  I can get rid of furniture and clothes but never my books.  The books contain something that I will always need throughout my lifetime–answers.

Despite the hundreds of books I own, it is never enough.  I want to learn more.  While working as a photojournalist, I once covered a lecture where a woman spoke about how we have two purposes in life: One is to be a student to gain knowledge and the Second is as a teacher, to teach what we have learned.  I am literally a teacher but I feel that I will forever be a student as well.  There is still so much left to learn, so much left to explore.  My bucket list is very long.

But right now, I have begun a new quest.  I want to learn more about myself.  Recently, someone whom I care about a great deal pointed out my lack of knowledge in certain areas, specifically relationships and communication.  This person, without realizing, forced me to look at myself in a different light.  I guess this was an awakening of sorts, forcing me to enlighten myself–look within.  Coincidentally, I was also reading Dan Brown’s “Lost Symbol,” a book talking about finding the “god within,” looking past the obvious and digging deeper.

So now I have set a mission for myself, to find our more about myself.  And for some reason, I am drawn to looking at the spiritual aspects of my being.  Now this could be in response to the fact the Endometriosis is flaring up big time and I am currently struggling physically from the pain.  But nevertheless, I am going to focus on my spiritual mind and deal with my physical body another time.

So, first step, find a place to start.  That’s fairly easy and logical–start with birth.  I was born on October 21st into the Libra Sun Sign, but on the Scorpio Cusp.  According the astrology.com, a Libra/Scorpio cusp has the following characteristics and personality traits:

01. Libra/Scorpios strive to create balance and harmony between self and other through investigation and probing.

02. They are often strongly intuitive and penetrating. They have a need to be liked.

03. Libra/Scorpios are diplomatic and cooperative; they are skilled at initiating group projects. They can be stubborn, refusing to give up when others have long since become bored and abandoned a project.

04. Libra/Scorpios get things done when no one else thought it possible. In this way, the fixed quality of Scorpio is expressed.

05. When Libra/Scorpios set goals for themselves, they are determined to succeed. They have their own agenda and work to achieve their desires.

06. Cultural awareness and a talkative nature help them shine in the social situations they so enjoy.

07. Libra/Scorpios are skilled at communication and abstract reasoning, and their intelligence combines with their interest in others to become an intellectual exploration of those around them.

08. They may repress their emotions, but underneath they are lusty and perceptive.

09. Libra/Scorpios are motivated and loyal, but they are often misunderstood and may be seen as dictatorial or sarcastic. If they have an ulterior motive, they can be overbearing, but in a subtle, sly or manipulative way.

10. Libra/Scorpios are both mystical and scientific, a combination that makes them very aware of what is happening around them; they are a sign of great depth. If they aren’t careful, though, their passionate nature may lead them into self-indulgence or compulsion.

11. Libra/Scorpio-born is in their drive for peace and harmony and their determination to see things through to the end. Their skill at seeing all sides of a situation with great passion and strength makes them one of the most powerful characters of the zodiac.

OK, I am a bit more Libra than Scorpio but I can’t deny that the majority of these traits and characteristics are true!  But there is still so much more to look at.

To Be Continued . . .

Leave a Comment

All Things Happen For A Reason

June 20, 2010 at 9:50 PM (Life, Spirituality)
Tags: , ,

>

“Time passes in moments… moments which, rushing past, define the path of a life, just as surely as they lead towards its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path, to see the reasons why all things happen, to consider whether the path we take in life is our own making, or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed. But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? And, seeing those choices, choose another path?”  ~ Dana Scully, X-Files, “All Things”

One of my favorite episodes from the X-Files is “All Things” from Season 7.  In this episode, Dana Scully, a devout Catholic, faces the Buddist belief that everything happens for a reason.  Our lives center around Dhamma (Truth) and enlightenment through a quest for knowledge.  The Buddhist beliefs are centered around 4 noble truths: Life is suffering, Suffering is caused by cravings and aversion, Suffering can be overcome and happiness can be attained, and the Noble 8 Fold path is the path that leads us to the end of suffering.  This is a whole new way of looking at the X-Files slogan, “The Truth is Out There.”

For me, I have always had an interest in the Buddhist beliefs–without knowing they were buddhist beliefs.  Those who really know me have heard me say “everything happens for a reason,” “kharma will handle it,” and “it’s a sign.”  But until I moved to Reno and my roommate’s girlfriend (now his wife) introduced me to the Buddhist beliefs, I was unaware that I was already on my path to enlightenment.

Born and raised a Catholic, I struggled with accepting the Cathecism teachings.  I couldn’t have blind faith to a religion that left me with so many questions–like which part of Adam do monkeys come from.  What I love about Buddhism is that they don’t want you to accept their truths on faith, they want you to experience them.  They encourage questions and a quest for knowledge.  Finally, a religion where I won’t get kicked out for asking questions.

“There is a greater intellegence in all things. Accidents, or near accidents often remind us that we need to keep our mind open to the lessons it gives. You may want to slow down”

(And for those of you who don’t know me, I often reference TV shows, movies, and books when trying to explain my own life–FYI)
In “All Things,” Scully meets a woman who tells her that things happen to us as a way of telling us to slow down and look at our lives.  The woman mentions how she was a career woman, hiding her lesbian lifestyle, and not living up to the truths in her life when she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  The Cancer was her awakening.  For me, being diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometriosis was my awakening.  Up until that point, I had no clear perspective on who I was as a person and I was always running away from things–things I didn’t want to face.  Undergoing surgery and finding out that I would have to endure a cancer treatment for 8 months to kill off the diseased cells ravaging my body, I couldn’t help but analyze my life, the choices I had made, and what my future held.  I had entered the suffering stage of my awakening. 

“Pain.  Where there is pain, there is a need for healing–physically, mentally, spiritually . . . When we hold onto shame and guilt and fear, it creates imbalance.  It makes us forget who we are.”

And for me, the suffering stage lasted for years.  I had so many lessons that I had to learn about life and about myself.  I had been craving all the wrong things and trying to be someone I knew I was not.  Ironically, it was when I started raising my nephew and doing things for our soldiers and veterans that I really started to discover who I was, the real me. 

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others” ~ Ghandi

To this day, I am still trying to overcome my suffering by serving others and showing compassion.  It is my ability to help others (the soldiers, veterans, my students) that provides me with happiness.  I love knowing that I have the power to make a difference in the lives of others by passing on my own knowledge and skills that I have acquired in my 31 years on this earth.  And perhaps for the first time in my life I can say I know exactly who I am.  Everything in my life has happened to make me the person I am today–doing the work that I do today.  After all, it is today that really matters–not the past and not the future but today.

Mulder:I don’t think you can know. I mean, how many different lives would we be leading if we made different choices. We… we don’t know.



Scully:What if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong? And there were signs along the way to pay attention to.


Mulder:Mmm. And all the… choices would then lead to this very moment. One wrong turn, and… we wouldn’t be sitting here together. Well, that says a lot. That says a lot, a lot, a lot.

Leave a Comment

Aboard The Flying Nun Express

January 4, 2010 at 7:49 PM (Life, Spirituality)
Tags: , ,

>So four nuns walk onto a plane . . .

It sounds like a bad joke and for me, it was more like a cosmic joke. This morning I boarded my Southwest Airlines flight from Detroit to Phoenix (layover to Burbank). Our flight had been delayed because the flight scheduled at the gate before us had a broken plane and they had to take ours, making us wait for the next available plane. So an hour after our scheduled departure, we were finally boarding. I was in a panic because we still had to go through the de-icing process and I only had a 35 minute layover in Phoenix. I was convinced I was going to miss my connection. So I pulled out my new copy of Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons (purchased at the Airport News store) and started reading to calm my nerves.

Suddenly I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I’m not sure why I felt guilty or what I felt guilty about–I just felt guilty. I looked up and saw a nun in full habit dress. I immediately sat up straight, tried to hide my book, put my hands in my lap in a praying manner and bowed my head. I kept my head low but watched as the nun boarded the plane, followed by her sister, another sister, and another sister. Four nuns boarded my plane and my heart stopped. I watched as they walked past me, their rosaries on their hips slapping the passengers in the aisle seats. Thankfully I sat in a window seat, preventing the rosaries from burning into my skin.

Was God trying to punish me for my previous blog, for questioning the Catholic religion? Was he punishing me for questioning religion in general? Was this a sign that I was going to die? Wait, no, God wouldn’t kill four nuns at once–maybe one or two but never four at a time. But why were they here, on my plane? Each one glanced at me as if they knew me, they knew I was a heathen, a bad catholic. My chest started to hurt. I was very close to grasping my chest and doing a Fred Sanford impersonation.

I immediately put Angels and Demons back into my bag. I reached down and pet my cat in her carrier. She yelled at me, as if to say “Mom, you’re a bad catholic and now we are both going to pay for your sins.” Actually, she was probably yelling at me because the guy sitting in the seat she was under was extremely overweight and she was really sick of being in her carrier.

I tried desperately to stop thinking about the nuns at the back of the plane. I just put on my headphones and listened to my Glee soundtracks on my ipod. Ironically, the first song to play–”I say a little prayer for you.” Wow, talk about a day of signs.

Eventually, we made it into Phoenix. We were a half hour late and by the time I deplaned, my connecting flight’s scheduled departure had come and gone. So I walked over to the arrivals and departures TV. To my amazement, my connecting flight to Burbank had been delayed by one hour and twenty minutes. So now I had time to get something to eat and use the restroom. With a sigh of relief, I turned and watched as the four nuns walked past me, all smiling and nodding their heads. Is that a sign that God is watching over me and forgives me of my sins? Or is it just lucky to have a flying nun in your presence? Either way, I vow to carry my rosary and a Sally Field Flying Nun doll with me whenever I fly.

Of course, that was not the end of my weird day of Catholic signs. On my flight from Phoenix to Burbank, the two people sitting next to me attended Catholic school. And one of them was also from Sterling Heights and she attended school at St. Anne’s, the church that banned me from their catechism classes. We reminisced about dealing with Nuns and how you were not supposed to question the teachings. Finally, someone who understands.

Maybe I should go to church and thank God for all of the signs and luck he gave me today. On second thought, I will just drive through the parking lot instead and kiss my celtic cross. I’m still afraid I might burst into flames if I step inside.

Leave a Comment

« Older entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 435 other followers