It’s October, my favorite month of the year. My Birthday is next week and Halloween is coming up. So why am I depressed?
Maybe because it is October and it was over 90 degrees yesterday–85 today. The weather should be cool. The leaves should be turning yellow, orange and red. They should fall to the ground and make crunching noises as you step on them.
The weekends should be spent in line at Yates Cider Mill, waiting for fresh cider and warm donuts. I should be driving out to the farms to find the perfect pumpkin. I should be decorating my parents’ house, my sister’s house and Pete & Sharon’s house in time for Halloween. I should be planning my holiday card (Halloween is my Holiday, not Christmas). I should be going to Buffalo Wild Wings with my nephew on my birthday.
But I am in California. I thought going to Disneyland for “Halloweentime” would snap me out of my holiday funk but it hasn’t. It was sweltering when we went and I got a slight sunburn. This isn’t FALL weather.
I finally have my Halloween decorations but I haven’t decorated. When I lived in Reno, I went all out but Reno has seasons–Los Angeles does not. I love the season change–I NEED the season change. It doesn’t feel like my birthday if I am wearing a tank top and shorts.
My therapist says that I have to expect that every October will be a highly emotional month for me as long as I am living in Los Angeles. I gave up living in an area where I can enjoy my favorite season and month in all of it’s glorious splendor for a paycheck. And in California, I also have too many memories associated with my birthday and the month of October–the majority are not very pleasant.
It’s funny how some people need the sunlight or they are depressed. I need the overcast fall weather or I get depressed. I’m not normal.