Attention all Southern California Singletons! Forget going to the Bars on a Saturday, head on over to the Target in Pasadena to hear the latest pick-up lines spewing from the mouths of what the LA dating scene really has to offer–skeevy men who like to talk to your chest.
Here’s the scenario: You are heading toward the entrance on the second floor of the Target in Pasadena. You are on a mission for toliet paper and maxi pads on this fine, sunny Saturday afternoon. Since it is 90 degrees out, you are wearing capris and a t-shirt, nothing fancy. But as you walk from your car toward the automatic doors you notice these two hispanic gentlemen leaving the store. They are staring at you so to be polite, you smile–a simple gesture, not an invitation for flirtation.
“Wow, that is a wonderful outfit on you,” says one of the men as he licks his lips. Then he proceeds to tell your chest, “You’re beautiful.” I literally had to swallow back some vomit forming in the back of my throat.
I rolled my eyes and walked into the store as fast as I could, knowing they were checking out my ass as I walked past them. I walked past a mirror–my look certainly didn’t warrant such a cheesy line. I was wearing black capris and a black crew neck t-shirt. There was no v-neck action involved. Now I know my Twins are larger than the norm but my t-shirt isn’t that tight. There are many women at that same Target wearing clothes that are extremely tight and showing off a lot more–some showing more than they should. So I was baffled.
I just shrugged it off and continued on my mission. You don’t realize how important toliet paper is until you run out. So as I was concentrating on figuring out the best deal on toliet paper, (as well as not understanding why $15 is considered a sale on toliet paper. Don’t they understand what it is used for and where it is going? Why the high costs?) I had to yet again endure another comment by a member of the male species.
“Damn girl, you got some big ass titties,” exclaimed a gentleman of the African-American persuasion. This gentleman was much more direct. I simply shot him a look, grabbed my 36 rolls of Charmin on sale for $15, and proceeded to the check out.
Once I was safe inside my car, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on with the universe. The full moon isn’t until the 20th. So is this Target the new pick-up spot? Or are my Twins really that impressive that they warrant that much attention?