Throughout my lifetime, I have had numerous nicknames. Kelly Marie, Kel-arie, Kelly Marinee, Renee (pronounced re-knee), Poopers, Pumpkin, Sunshine, Cutes, Monkey, Kel, Mother of all Toads, Energizer Bunny, Brinker, Bunny, Partinator, Kaa and Miss B–just to name a few. To my closest friends and family, I am Kaa. But for the last few years, specifically the last few months, I was so caught up being Miss B that I lost Kaa. Well, she is back!
Kaa is a goofy character. Always known for being “unique.” She is hyper and energetic–but usually at night. Miss B gets up early and goes to bed early–and drinks a gallon of coffee a day. Not Kaa. She functions better at night. The sun makes her sleepy–and makes her sneeze. Sunset to Sunrise are her hours of function. The creativity flows at the wee hours of the morning. And Kaa is very creative. A constant performer, writer and jack of all trades. Miss B is just a persona she created to get through her mundane job that tends to suck the life out of her. But in the summer time (and other vacations), she can be free.
There are times when Kaa is out in the daylight. She loves to walk the gardens–to write, people watch or to meditate. Kaa is constantly seeking spiritual enlightenment. She is always thinking. Always wanting to help people. Always wanting to make a difference. She loves to learn something new. Doing the same thing over and over again bores her. She loves to try new things. She loves to explore a place she has never been before. A spontaneous road trip is something she loves to do–she is just searching for the perfect mate/companion/partner in crime to be her Chewbacca on such a journey.
Kaa is a hopeless romantic at times. But she is terrified of getting hurt. She can be Little Miss Communication until she thinks she could get hurt and then she shuts down. When she is quiet, she is lost in thought. She finds it hard to trust and completely open up to others until she knows they are going to stick around. If she thinks someone is only in her life for a short time, she keeps them at a distance. She is usually optimistic but can be pessimistic and cynical at times.
Kaa is like a stand-up comedian at times. She uses her wit and keen sense of humor to charm her audience. She is extremely sarcastic but in a playful way. She tries to enjoy her time with loved ones, not wanting to take things too seriously. She will do whatever she can to avoid conflict or the need to make a decision. She is very much a “go with the flow” kind of girl.
Unfortunately, Kaa does have a dark side. We call her “Endo Woman,” the hormonal monster that tends to wreak havoc whenever Kaa’s Endometriosis throws her hormones out of whack. Hopefully, a person will get to know Kaa before Endo Woman enters the picture so they know that Endo Woman is just a small part of the big picture. Kaa is doing her best to control Endo Woman but sometimes Endo Woman can overpower her and take over for months at a time. Once she leaves, Kaa is left to deal with the aftermath and sometimes to mourn the loss of relationships destroyed during the hormonal hurricane of Endo Woman.
But thankfully, for the forseeable future, Kaa is back. Miss B and Endo Woman are safely tucked away so Kaa can reign free. Thank God it is Summer!!!