Weaving a Web

OK, I admit it. I am afraid of spiders. I remember seeing the film “arachnophobia” when I was a kid and thinking it was the most terrifying movie ever. And just a few minutes ago, I had a moment that could have been a scene in that film.

I went into my fridge to pull out the container of red seedless grapes that I bought the other day at Sam’s Club. I have been eating a cup or so of grapes a day. I was down to the last bunch so I poured the remainder into a colander so I could wash them. That is when I noticed a dead spider in the grapes. I poured the spider carcass and a few grapes back into the container. I figured it probably perished when they were picking the grapes so the remaining grapes were still edible. I blew on the spider carcass to push it away from the grapes and that is when it spread out its legs. It wasn’t dead. I jumped back and then launched forward to close the grapes container. The spider was black/brown with orange spots and furry. I threw the container into a bag, tied it up and ran down to the dumpster.

I threw out the rest of the grapes. I couldn’t eat them and shuttered at the thought of the grapes that I had already consumed over the past few days. I never saw the spider before. It had been living in my refrigerator for days. Eww!

Ironically, spiders have been popping up on me alot lately and it all started on Thursday, July 7th.  I got some upsetting news from my Endo doctor and I discovered I had some major decisions to make.  I was feeling alone, scared, and overwhelmed.  I knew so many things in my life were about to change and I had to decide which path I needed to take.  For me, a Libra, making decisions is extremely difficult.  I have to weigh out all the options and possible outcomes.  I’m always afraid I am going to make the wrong decisions.  So my mind started to race, increasing my anxiety levels, so I decided to go for a long walk at Descanso Gardens to clear my mind.  I put on my iPod and just started walking.  I decided to walk down some paths that are not well-known.  That is when I started walking into spider webs.  And toward the end of the path was when I first saw a spider weaving its web.  I just stood there completely fascinated.  I watched it from just three lines along the edge until the web was complete and the spider went to the center to rest.  It was a beautiful sight to see.  It put me into such a meditative, peaceful state.  The next day, in a completely different area in Descanso, I ran into another spider spinning it’s web.  Again, I stood there and watched it from start to finish. 

I was so amazed by the spiders weaving their webs, the spider in my food . . . not so much.  I walk through the gardens all the time.  I have never seen a spider spinning its web before.  I buy grapes all the time.  I have never found a spider playing dead in my grapes before.  So now I am wondering why I keep seeing spiders–aside from the season. Is the universe trying to tell me something?

I’ve always been afraid of spiders. Is this the Universe’s way of telling me to let go of my fear? Again, putting a spider in my food doesn’t ease the fear, it enhances it. So it has to be about something else.  So I decided to look further into the meaning of a spider. I came across whats-your-sign.com and their explanation of the symbolic meanings of a spider.

According to whats-your-sign.com, “the spider is an ancient symbol of mystery, power and growth.”  We look at how a spider weaves it web and compare it to how we must weave/construct our own lives.  We should remember that our choices “construct our lives” and we have to be “mindful of the choices we are making.” 

The site goes on to say that: “When we see our decisions, choices and actions as far-reaching, effective tools in life – we can see how we weave a web that can either serve us or enslave us. The Spider symbol meaning beckons us to be mindful of our behaviors – be smart about the life we weave for ourselves.”

So I guess I can conclude that the Universe is trying to tell me not to rush and to take time weaving my plan of action for dealing with my current Endometriosis dilemma.  Every choice I make will affect my future.  So I have to choose wisely.

So what did the spider in my grapes mean?

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