Friends With Benefits

So the movie “Friends With Benefits” just came out on DVD so of course I bought it.  I saw it in the theaters with one of my close friends when it came out in July.  I remember sitting in the theater after it was over and we looked at each other in amazement.  Yes, Justin Timberlake is hot and incredibly loveable in this film but we were amazed that once again it feels like Hollywood has stolen a chapter of my life.  Aside from the happy ending, the flash mobs and living in New York, this was my life with “Hot Dog”–the nickname he lets me use when I write about him.

I have been friends with Hot Dog for a little over eleven years.  We met working for the same photography company.  I hated him when we first met.  He made me cry on my first day of work.  Now we both tell the story differently and if I ever want to get on his nerves, I tell my version of the story.  It was a graduation and I was a rookie photographer.  He was a lead but he wasn’t the lead of the ceremony.  The lead sent me out to do PR pictures and I had no clue what I was doing.  So when I came back to ask for help, Hot Dog basically made fun of me and yelled at me.  I started crying.  I thought he was a complete asshole for being so mean to me.  I even asked my boss if there was a way I could avoid ever working with him again.  Hot Dog felt bad so he started being nicer to me and he has never sent a rookie out to do PR pics ever since that incident.  He even collected film canisters for my mom.  So needless to say, we became friends.

Our working relationship was very similar to that of Eric Matthews (Benjamin Bratt) and Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) in “Miss Congeniality.”  Actually, Hot Dog looks like the Korean version of Benjamin Bratt.  We flirted but I was all into Big and when things ended with Big, I made a deal with Hot Dog in an attempt to get over Big.  We agreed to a Friends With Benefits relationship.  We didn’t have an ipad bible but we did have a Nikon Camera.  We agreed to total (and sometimes brutal) honesty and that our friendship would always come first.  It was like having a relationship but without all the drama and complications.

And just like in the movie, we would talk (via email) practically every day, we would go out to dinner, go hiking, and our favorite pastime, Wii Tennis (that part of the movie freaked me out a little).  I tried to get him hooked on Wii bowling but he hated that I would kick his ass every time and in Wii Tennis, he could beat me.

We carried on our FWB relationship for years and I eventually realized I wanted more.  I wanted a real relationship.  So in September 2010, we went back to being just friends.  It was actually easier than I thought it would be.  We did what we said we were going to do, we put our friendship first.  We still talk (via email) all the time and he gives me advice on the guys I date (or will hopefully date).  He is a really good friend.  He would just make for a really bad boyfriend–major intimacy issues and he is the first to admit it.

And since I am a girl with major trust issues, it is so nice to have a guy in your life who is completely honest with you.  There is no game playing.  He doesn’t hide anything.  He tells me everything–sometimes too much.  He talks to me, asks me questions.  We can go for walks and talk.  He encourages me with my writing.  And right now, we are talking about writing a script together and making a movie in my house.

And while I am still trying to get over the last guy I dated, hanging out with Hot Dog serves as a distraction from the sadness and loneliness.

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